“Author vs. Writer” might be worse than “Editing vs Proof reading”

I should be the only one allowed to dictate my fate.

When you come across a trade novel with no words – only blank pages, one begins to wonder what the hell the New York Times is really doing. Fear is more realistic. I’m not one to wonder anything in this climate.

Don’t  push a pusher. I  came across the blank trade novel years before the years now one afternoon while surfing the internet.


Christmas. I mean Jenny. There’s. Three: ( Jen, Jennifer, Jenny, Maybe? I don’t know! )Holly berries are poisonous!! Dangerous!

Stay away from all of them .no use praying for the damned.  Yup.  Find some new names.  Pay my posts no mind .I’m kind of out there.  No one no me.  Apparently .

Nick names are rude.  Something I try and avoid now that I am older.  But trust me “nothing” is ever in the “Nick” of time.  All of this is something I’m not fond of.

“Notes” on stolen goods

I have therapy next week and mentioned awhile ago on a previous post about something stolen. I have apologized to that person and plan on discussing it next week in therapy.

Mostly though, I think I made the last post in frustration for all the things that I have seen go missing from me and for all those around me that I have known to be the unfortunate – those whom are succumbed to stealing.

P S.  There was also a drunken snafoo one night that still confuses me and I am left with a trinket I am unsure of whether I paid full price for. Was it a two for one? Was it a drunken pocket slide? Whatever it it is – bad vibes all over it. It has been set aside.

As I previously mentioned, I no longer go out. I am not the same person I was before . I am growing. I am healing.  Everyday. Everyday.  What more can I do, right? All I want to see is progress.  A little each day for myself and for my son . For our family.

And I can tell you one thing, I don’t want to turn around and see something missing or misplaced day after day after day . It was like that for a bit. And I doubt it was due to me pocketing a few …years before the years now. Meaning the stolens goods and the apology people not the drunken trinket. Please note that was literally folks. Literally, my hand was on the item I wasn’t “willing” it through the “atmosphere”- if you please. So, until therapy next week, have a good one!


I was just a child. I suppose it was me .yeah .yo. We ran through it .the dictionary that is .A rosebud .seriously that’s what the card had on it .Placed right under M. I’d rather not re visit it. I’d rather just remind myself that I am alive and safe and healthy everyday . Oh “YOU” know

The last thing I want to do is start another run through another dictionary from another publisher. No offense ya’ll but I think it’s best I leave proper names out of my blog.

To revisit what I was allowed as a child? How was I to know? And in reality what a message life takes sometimes I rarely noticed most days.

Yup .safe for the most part . Healthy, in therapy and very argumentative. Probably unrelated knowing me .

Hmm….leads “us” back to “I”. What a crazy “loop” huh? Look it up. I found it. It’s in a book and it’s about time we move along before we all start moving around in circles like I found myself doing just about four years ago.

My Education – lesson one and the mistakes I’ve made along the way.

I have a Bachelor of Science from an Accredited University

I have a Master’s of Library and Information Science from an Accredited University

Lesson one! If you’ve earned an education, make sure you let the man or woman know that when you send them anything.

I’ve re written my query letter, just have to type it up. I will send it on to one or two and see what the response is this time.  Can’t be worse than the last few.


1. Left off education, hadn’t finished novel, sent to wrong guy . Sent it in two emails. ACK! KILL ME! His response was “self-publish.” I swear the air was thick from our email exchange for at least a week .I requested that he delete it. I hope that he did per my request .

2. Sent a previous work . The first 10-20 pages of a journal. Not exactly a memoir. Or maybe just a partial of my f’d up relationship past. She was prompt and polite in her reply – it was not for her, but if I had anything else please send it along to her or any of her staff.

3. Random! Why not? Probably shouldn’t have, but did anyways. Literary agent so stated, however I am still a bit wary on the entire system.  The novel was finished, sent required 30 pages or first paragraph whatever. Good I thought. Then .ACK! KILL ME! Felt need to send another email. Less is more people. Never heard back. The air felt thick for AWHILE .Then finally, I remembered to remind myself to email her back and request that she delete all correspondences.


If you have an education or qualifications or whatever.. include them!!

If you forgot to include something in your original correspondence. Don’t correspond again! It looks worse .



“All Apologies”

All we all sick of Pearl Jam by now? Well I used to have some pearls. As soon as I get my music set again, then I plan to FILL and I mean FILL my misformatted IPOD with tons of tunes for my son.  My beautiful baby boy. I will fill that 80 gb with everything and ANYTHING! I’m not prejudice. (Mixed family and all that).

As for the apologies …I apologise to those I have stolen from .I apologise for my former drug habits and my mistakes.  All I can do now is move forward. And to you with a flavor for arson. Unfortunately I feel ya. But, due to my checkered past I do not light things on fire.  Please note, to my demise I also label my clothing and donate to the needy.  People need stuff! We shouldn’t just burn it if in good health. And yes, clothes just like people can be healthy.

Enough .Find your own Chi.

Cookie. In true p.current fashion. Check it. A brief quotation taken from the book, “Goodbye Mr. Chips.” By Hilton. Here is a short excerpt from my unpublished novel, “memphissky: a ‘monkey puzzle'”

…a cookie could be a squirrel posing as a bear .Wait. Bears are carrying squirrels, yearly monkeys are outfitted looking like a fish, dog and a clown outfit? Does that look like words’ doing, um…could be Remington at this point . There are even snakes leaning towards squirrels. Alright .Some snakes are getting too heavy for any squirrel to carry.  The birds are out of control, the Loons are mad and owls can be heard in alleys and in…trees?

“The strange randomness of the world beguiled him, that randomness which never would,

As long as it lasted,

Give meaning to those choruses again.”

“…that paradox of age and youth, was what the world called progress.” Hilton, James. ” Goodbye Mr. Chips.”, P. 57, 114.

Skylar turns towards Rufus, ” I swear I saw some sneakers posing as birds. How else would they mark their territory over here?” Memphis retorts, sharing that boyish smile of his with her. Miles admits that there have been sittings of rabbits.  In many of these areas these same rabbits would be “labeled” as squirrels.

There is no “You” to be seen .It’s just Remington and Skylar.  “Squirrels and rabbits,” he says with a tired body and crazy eyes .

“Trails West”?Nah…they’ll be no booking it here.

Saw a speaker recently, he mentioned editing.  He emphasized how important it was to find someone else to edit his work.  Now that I think about it, he wasn’t a speaker.  It was actually an interview on “Virginia This Morning.” The man is or was law enforcement and now he writes novels . Amazing .

I don’t talk to anyone I used to. Lately I’ve been thinking that maybe he’s right. I have someone in mind . One that I trust.  One with an open mind.  A smart one.  One to edit.

“Trails West.” Hilarious Pops.  Just hilarious. R.I.P.

Beliefs, Faith and Values

I’m looking up some definitions today . My husband has a favorite word. His word is conjecture . I must say it is mighty annoying to hear the same word for a meaning that has many other words to describe. Which brings me to Faith.  I have trouble wrapping my head around the definition of faith.  So I looked it up . First, here are short definitions of beliefs and values.

Beliefs: faith, opinions, conjecture, trust.  The confidence in someone or something.  The freedom from doubt .

Values: Importance, worth, regard held for something.  What’s important in life? Principles, standards of behavior, to appreciate .

Faith: “The faith that life will expand until it fills the universe.”

I’ve been through turmoil, I’ve broken down, I’ve recovered, I’ve written and I’ve ignored.  It’s time for me to start over wavering in textbook definitions of faith. Never look back I say . There is no need to loop the past into the present when all I want to do is look to the future.

The front page of my blog says something like the story won’t let me write the words . It’s from a novelist. A vampire novelist if I recall. Google it.  Well, “the faith that life will expand until it fills the universe.”

I saw three bats fly off the roof of my apartment building yesterday early a.m.  I’d say that my faith has been restored for now.  They deserve the same life as we know it as does a bird or some other living creature.

I wrote a book. Never look back . Someday I will publish. Even if that means I self publish.

I’m stable now and have put writing on the back burner . Those we’re some times and times they were .